Guys I made up

Banana Bread

A slice of banana bread with arms, legs, and a face. Called the "present persona" since he's the guy I pretend is me right now, but when he's not pretending to be me, he lives in a world of other animate objects who like elaborate competitions. Being literally the same guy as me, he likes words - studying and writing them. Additionally, in the Pastry Parodyme, he represents my current creative endeavors.

He's been around for a bit, but he's the newest character I've used to represent myself, since I only invented him after I started calling myself the banana bread guy.

Oddity Aquafey

A Popplio with a longer body than usual and hair covering his right eye. Called the "past-future persona" since I previously meant to use him as a persona, but never did. Lives in a world filled exclusively with other Pokemon, specifically in the Aunova region. He represents the musings I had about animation, and his interests reflect this.

He was originally going to be my self-insert in an elaborate animated show I probably never thought I had the capacity to make, but now he's just one of many self-inserts in an elaborate fanfiction.

Epic Palustre

A walking mass of bluntleaf bogmoss known simply as a moss. His kind is a common creature in a certain world whosee favorite measurement is the cubic meter, and he's usually seen wearing a certain neon sign on his face. He's called the "past persona" since he used to be the guy I pretended was me. Lives in the bog and likes programming stuff, since he represents my programming and game development efforts.

I made him up long before time had a name, back when I was called Epiccreeper127, but only found a good name for him a fistful of years ago. The neon sign is also new and really cool.

Puddles

A cat made of water, inhabited by a ghost. That's an oversimplification, but it works for now. He doesn't remember anything before his appearance on Porta, has the ability to manipulate water, can speak in words beyond language, and practically cannot die.

That's a lot of things I said in not a lot of words, so let me explain them. Puddles is a ghost, a spirit tied down to the mortal realm. Ghosts have different capabilities depending on why exactly they're still on earth, and aside from the words-beyond-language thing (which is just a general ghost thing,) Puddles has two abilities, both of which have to do with water.

The first is the ability to possess water, using it as a body and sensing the world around him through it; the only thing he can sense without a body is water available to possess. The form his body takes is mostly left up to instinct; the cat theme is something that has been etched onto his soul, one of the few things he took with him from whoever he was before he showed up on Porta.

The second is the ability to control water, at first by directing its movement with his paws, but he eventually masters this power enough to manipulate it with only his will. Given the threat of the mutants which creep throughout Porta, it quickly becomes necessary for him to use this power offensively to protect his more mortal friends.

Both of these are limited to mostly-pure water and will not work on things such as air moisture, body fluids, or, rather inconveniently, sea water.

He's so cool and I love him.

Mike

The first person Puddles meets after appearing on Porta. A member of a small race of beetle people who originate from the caves underneath Porta. His skin is rough, red, and smells like rust, his clothes are made from the hairs and skins of mutants, and his head has large horns on top. His kind only speaks Latin, but Puddles can understand speech in any language.

Puddles follows him around the island at first out of curiosity, soon out of concern for his safety, and eventually out of friendship.

Mattie

A human woman who recently wound up on the island of Porta. Her red hair is a mess of tangles and grease, and she is otherwise a mess in general. She's been managing to survive there, at least long enough to meet Mike and Puddles, who decided to team up in order to survive better. It isn't clear to the other two how or why she got to Porta, and she doesn't seem keen to tell them.

Additionally, Mattie does not speak Latin (obviously,) so she can't speak with Mike. As previously mentioned, Puddles can do the spirit speech thing to translate between them, but it's still a bit of a hassle.

Lynn

A nickname which is short for Ethylene, who is a gray tabby catgirl with amber eyes. She studies the paranormal, but is more interested in unsolved mysteries of the past than any current activity, thinking that recent oversaturation in weirdness reports has drowned out anything worthwhile from the past few years.

She manages to have well-developed social skills despite often being absorbed in her studies, but she adamantly refuses to put an ounce of thought into her public self-presentation, usually going out wearing clothes she's been wearing for days, and refusing to buy new clothes as long as there's something in her wardrobe which hasn't fallen to shreds yet.

She's also the one who tied this whole friend group together. They all live closer to each other nowadays.

Nic

Short for Phoenix, a blue and tan bunnyboy. He's the son of a well-renowned engineer, which is a field he's been studying as well, but he doesn't say much else about his father, or his upbringing in general. His face doesn't show much emotion other than his constant scowl, but if you spend enough time around him, it will become clear that his apathy is only skin-deep.

He met Lynn over the internet, which he spent plenty of time on when he was younger, introduced to her by Oats, who he had known for a while then. Their more positive attitudes may seem to conflict with his personality, but in truth, he couldn't wait to talk to them any chance he got.

Oats

Short for Oatmeal, but it's not like that's any more silly than her nickname. A sheep farmer (who farms sheep) with white, curly wool and a cheery attitude.

The sheep aren't hers per se, the sheep farm, and therefore the sheep, are owned by her family, who she lives with. Nonetheless, she had a page on the internet where she would post photos of the sheep, and stories about the sheep, and basically anything she thought about that had to do with the sheep. This is how she met both Dex and Lynn, neither of them could get enough of the sheep posts.

She's so great. This is what characters are all about. Why aren't more characters sheep farmers who farm sheep.

Ed

Red squirrel boy whose twisted nature puts a malicious smile on his face almost perpetually.

Ed holds as his highest ideal practical humor. Not for public display, not for the practical benefit of himself, but for his own twisted amusement. He keeps records of as many of his antics as he can, and if the overflowing shelves of video tapes in his home are any clue, the number of his victims far exceeds the limits of a sane mind.

Ed is also the one of these characters Lynn has known the longest. Ever since she interfered with one of his pranks in her early teens, he just sorta acted like he was her friend until she accepted it; he says things about how the prank incident bound them together. When the two of them decided to move closer to Dex and Oats, most of the effort was put to packing his innumerable video records.

Despite all that, he still definitely cares about his friends. By all other standards, it seems like he should be carefully studied from very far away, but he's far from unreliable, and certainly isn't the sort to exploit others for his benefit. Just for his entertainment. Which is probably worse.

Centroff

My first D&D character, a gnome Monk of Shadow. I really did choose the most complicated class with the worst-fitting race, huh? Anyway he obviously wore no armor and used no weapons but his bare hands, which was and still is awesome.

The joke with him is that he punches things. I probably was not supposed to have done as much damage as I did as him (I was adding proficiency to damage rolls.) One time the party got jailed and put in an underground dungeon, so I did some nerdy idiot math and said that I spent every day of jail punching a tunnel through the dungeon and hiding it with the free minor illusions I got as a Shadow Monk. After all, when all you have is a fist, every problem starts to look like a face.

Eventually we all had to go to the hells - since the hells needed a fist in the face, obviously - but before that Centroff recieved an adamantine gauntlet (which we obviously called the Infinity Gauntlet) so he could punch things even harder. Unfortunately, the hells had a flying dragon, and Centroff, being a gnome, couldn't punch it all that well. But still, there was an epic, emotional climax and one player was wallowing waist-deep in the garbage can from it.

Jade Tittycleaver (working title)

Okay I'll tell this one's story from the start. In this campaign there was a full set of homebrew classes for us to chose from, and I was going to play the Oracle class and have my divine mark (oracles usually have some weird trait because of magic stuff) be gold blood and silver skin. You know, as a Homestuck reference. But after seeing that two other players were playing Oracles, I opted for the Emblematic class (rune/writing wizard) instead.

I chose the name Jade (but I don't think I meant it as a Homestuck reference,) but couldn't think of a good last name, so I just wrote down Jade Tittycleaver (working title) and slept on it so that I would be forced to make a better name later. But later never came.

This was during 2020, so we played over Discord, but I could never get my microphone to work, so I would type out what I would've said. This convinced everyone, eventually including myself, that Jade literally couldn't (or wouldn't) speak, and was communicating through sign language, which actually makes sense considering she does rune magic, which doesn't use speech. Once it was written somewhere that she was mute due to vocal chord damage, but I think it's because the community where she learned emblematicism encourages vows of silence for reasons that relate to rune magic.

Now I still had no idea what she looked like, until another player mentioned something about a green cloak and it just clicked for me. Jade Harley Homestuck, but Ralsei Deltarune clothes. this is what characters are all about. Why aren't more characters Ralsei Deltarune.

And thus, she is now unanimously accepted as the mute, maybe-human, part-dog-maybe-part-goat, maybe-conditionally-immortal, magic-crossbow-weilding light of the party's life.

Redefunt Lutheim

A dwarven archeologist, which, the way dwarves do archeology, also makes him a competent warrior (he's an Eldrich Knight Fighter.) called Red for short, which is probably why I made his hair that color.

Of course, archeology in any D&D world is practically guaranteed to get you cursed or haunted, and in this case he's kind of both: there's a queen of an old kingdom living inside his head, inseperably bonded with his mind, who's constantly struggling for control over his body. Fortunately, his iron will can hold her back most of the time, but only while his mind is in peak condition; anything which inhibits the function of his brain (eg. poison, blunt trauma, but not alcohol since we all know that enhances a dwarf's cognition) runs the risk of her taking over until he recovers.

The queen speaks to him in his mind, calling herself simply Catnip, and shows herself in her royal burial garb in his dreams. But even though she's certainly not winning the battle for control over his body, she never acts like she's fighting. It seems a lot like she's just... waiting.

Unfortunately, due to moving, I haven't gotten to attend his campaign and continue his story, so it will just have to live in my head from now on.

Fable Palustre

Upright creature made of a tangle of bluntleaf bogmoss with four legs and no visible arms. He has a mask of tree bark hiding his face.

The royal transporter of the bog, a florian Transporter/Summoner, which means a plant fey who does teleportation magic. He still maintains most of his behavior from his previous duty as a royal transporter, only speaking when spoken to and carrying out orders like it's second nature, even though the fey nobles he served have been wiped out.

His adventure was one of servitude and freedom, and of the meaning of those words. I guess.

Ben, Sal, and Chad

A trinity of beings made to defend the balance of the universe. Ben and Sal are nearly omnipotent, but can only do anything with Chad's approval. These were important characters in a saga known as "the Ben arc" which I made up a while ago. They're cool.

The rest

Ok these guys are of supreme irrelevance, so I'm just gonna put 'em in a list.

• Vivid Silver - An overpowered cat that used to be involved in Mammal Cosine when it was more about superheroes.
• Light Bearer - Fire skeleton in a metal shell. Old Mammal Cosine was pretty wacky.
• Bubble Rat - Bubble Cat counterpart I made up as an elaborate joke.
• Lucy - Mike counterpart from the same elaborate joke.