The Puter

Computers I own

I'm like 4 years old and unemployed so in theory I shouldn't be able to get my hands on that many computers, let alone call them any my exclusive property, but a computer nerd will always find a way. Even on accident. Note that almost none of these images are any better in fullscreen.

The Thinkpad

Self-portrait by the Thinkpad

About a year ago, my family went on a trip to see some friends. I think on the way there I realised the potential for these people to have electronics in their house, specifically old computers which had gone slow due to Windows which they would be willing to get out of their house, that I could ask to take from them. Sure enough, I saw several computers in dusty places, and was silent about the fact that I wanted to take them all and run.

But being silent doesn't mean it wasn't completely obvious to everyone; my parents obviously wanted me to stop silently and awkwardly yearning for these people's dusty old computers, and I think they eventually told our hosts what I was drooling over, which is when they gave me an old computer which had gone slow due to Windows - a Thinkpad E460 - and said that if I could fix it, I could keep it.

When I got it home, I moved all of the photos off of it, installed Artix on it instantly, and it never had any problems again.

Okay well sometimes the battery would be weird if I played modded Minecraft on it, but expecting a computer to be able to run that without bursting at the seams is probably a perfect illustration of human hubris. I also got a ram upgrade for it out of the specific illustration of hubris I just described.

This is the computer I most actively use right now for two main reasons: I can use it anywhere, and using multiple computers for the same purpose is a hassle. Maybe someday I'll have an older Thinkpad than this, but it's not like I'm gonna complain. It's free puter.

The Mac Mini

The Mac Mini setup

An age or two ago my grandfather sent this computer to my location unprompted. Apparently, he was replacing it. with a newer Mac, of course. I hooked it up to a tv and put it on top of the worst desk ever in my already crowded bedroom, but didn't use it much at first, but in time I installed Windows 10 dual-booted with the Mac OS already installed, which made it easier to play video games on it, which was most of what I did.

Eventually I uncovered the mysteries of our basement and set up the Mac Mini down there, using the worst little couch ever as a seat (the thing is probably only good for burning by now, and I think that the cushions are still deformed from my corpulent caboose) and that was how I spent a lot of my days: slouching on the couch in the basement, doing whatever on the computer with a wireless keyboard and mouse.

I think around this time I heard the good news about free software and Linux, and since stuff was running like garbage on both Windows and Mac OS, I added another dual boot of Ubuntu to the wretched thing.

I jumped around different distributions and eventually landed on Artix, but the most entertaining story was probably of Gentoo. Yes, I installed Gentoo, a source-based distribution that requires a whole lot of compiling, on a dinky little Mac Mini from ages ago. It took days. I think. I don't know. I don't remember much of what happened. I wiped the hard drive, and I think I had to (don't worry, I made backups of my Linux stuff. but not my Windows or Mac OS stuff.) It was just a blur of compiling and kernel configuration until I had trouble installing a proprietary wifi driver and rage quit.

Despite all the history I have with this thing, I don't really use it for much anymore. Sometimes I play games on it since it's easier than haggling with my Thinkpad's battery, but its main purpose right now is for my little sister to use, since she likes to draw and play games on it. Still, I appreciate its years of service to me and my grandfather, and the years yet to come to my sister.

The Macbook Air

The Macbook Air, open casket

Long before time had a name, my dad walked in with this 11-inch Macbook Air from 2011, I think? and I don't know why he got it, but I somehow managed to convince him to release his grip on it into my wretched beggar hands. This was the first computer I seriously used.

Just now found out that my dad actually got me this computer on purpose. If my memory is still mostly correct, I begged like a dog for this computer when it was already mine.

Anyway, as I said, this was the first computer I seriously used. Even though I dropped it in the first few days of owning it and put some nasty dents in it, I made sure to be otherwise careful with it, always serching "is ___ safe" every time I wanted to install something new. That isn't to say I didn't play TF2 and modded Minecraft on it at 60 frames per hour and at the expense of much battery lifetime, of course.

It was nice having a computer that was just mine for the first time, and was when I first started using Tumblr as "Boredom Breaker Comics," which I drew in the Scratch 2.0 vector sprite editor. Those sure were the days.

I don't remember much in detail about how I used it, other than that it served me well and I eventually put Linux Mint on it after my awakening. It was my fallback system, in case the Mac Mini broke down and I needed to reinstall something.

But as all apple products are doomed to do, the Macbook slowly began to degrade: keys started falling off (including the "increase screen brightness" button, which was a nightmare) and dead pixels started spreading like the plague in the corner of the screen. It was still somewhat usable for a while, if you didn't use the w key or the left corners of the screen.

Then my huge dog Bear sat on it and the screen went to schist from then. Replacing the screen on a Macbook Air, which is specifically designed to pack as much computer into as small a space as possible, costs more than several $90 Ebay Thinkpads, so while the computer still technically computes, I've let it fall to ruin since then. Rest well, Macbook Air, your service is done. Until I gut your hard drive to get the files off it.

Raspberry Pi's

Both of the Raspberry Pi's

I got both of these as gifts at different times, and I'm still not sure what to do with either of them. The first one (on the left of the picture) I got as a Christmas gift from my grandparents along with a keyboard and mouse, since I wanted my own computer and it can do pretty much everything a normal computer can. Except between the fact that I didn't have a monitor to plug it into other than the living room TV and that I couldn't figure out how to get Adobe Flash Player to work on it, I didn't use it for much. Also the case is really hard to get off.

The second one I think was a birthday gift from my other grandparents, and while it had more power and came with a bunch of wires, buttons, and lights to play with, I still haven't found anything to use it for, but I'm thinking about maybe setting up a Pi-Hole with it.

Teller Phone

The teller phone

I didn't have a phone for just about the entirety of my childhood; I just didn't need one. Sure, I badgered my anonymous benefactors about getting me one, but I hardly ever went out anywhere on my own: just about everywhere I went, I was accompanied by someone else who had a phone, so why spend upwards of a thousand dollars on a device I don't need? Now eventually, I decided that I didn't want a phone, since smart phones are addictive and terrible and whatnot, which went hand-in-hand for my not needing one and my benefactors' delay in getting me one (this is also why the section is called that; I would derogatorily refer to any phone as a telephone, which got corrupted into "teller phone".)

Not long after, though, the idea of me needing a phone became more relevant; there came times where I was the oldest in the house, and my benefactors had to leave me their phones with me while they were gone. But I tended to leave the phones out of sight, or in other rooms, sometimes because I didn't like the idea of having a radioactive slab pressed to my thigh all day, and sometimes because I forgot. We were very much considering getting a phone for me. I, however, made it clear that I did not want a smartphone, with a touch screens and social media apps and a big price tag, but something better. Something dumber.

So we picked this itty-bitty flip phone up sometime recently for super cheap. It makes calls and texts, and has a few other basic things like a camera, flashlight, and calculator. Well, it has a bunch of other apps for download, but I am quite satisfied with its most basic functions. Also, while I said I didn't want social media, it has Youtube permanently pre-installed, although videos on a screen that small aren't all that tempting.

The Puter